"Where there's tea, there's hope."- Arthur Wing Pinero
"You can't get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me."- C.S. Lewis
"Doing nothing is respectable at tea."
When you think about tea you probably either think about little girls at a pink, butterfly tea party or England,which eventually might make you think of Benedict Cumberbatch which might make you think of...wait...I guess that last parts just me. Well...anyway...my friends and I decided that tea parties were not just for little girls and the English, and it would be perfectly respectable for us to throw a tea party of our own. Unfortunately, I didn't take pictures of the 10 adorable, hand-made(by yours truly) invitations that all said, "You're invited to a tea party" on the cover. However, I can fill you in that there was a tea cup on everyone either holding a cat or a rabbit, or clad with a mustache and a spectacle, or lookin' really creepy, or just being adorable.
Although, I don't remember who's idea it was to throw a tea party, I do know all of my friends automatically went, "YAH, LET'S HAVE A TEA PARTY!" and I was once again reminded why my friends and I get along so well. Right away, my darling friend Kaely, offered the use of her Grandma's (beautiful and very neat) house and a pristine China set. Megan brought scones and her record player, Christina and Anya brought macaroons, and I made invitations and cupcakes, we set a date and time(4 o'clock sharp obviously), and picked out our formal attire and hats.
Before tea we took a jaunt through the garden while Megan finished the scones; she wanted them to be fresh and warm for everybody. We then did some swing dancing, our favorite kind actually.
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| Megan putting the finishing touches on the tea. |
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| Some good ole' swing dancing to our Crosley record player... |
We then sat down to hot tea and mysteriously developed, terrible but hilarious, Southern accents.
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| Our pristine table... |
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| Anyay, just so dang excite for tea time! |
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| Golden puffs of heaven...definitely worth the wait! |
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| A fellow blogger has been spotted! Megan Evans, whom is just getting her blog started(I'll let you'll know when it's up) |
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| All my friends are looking so sweet...ANYAY...must you ruin every pictures? |
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| Beautiful darlings', work those hats. |
"Ha,ha,ha: love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea."-Henry Fielding
As soon as we sat down, we began to embody our 1950's inner Southern ladies... and their scandalous pasts! Feeling as if we were a part of Clue, we each established our stories and new profiles as Southern gentlewomen. Read on to discover the sordid pasts of these young ladies below...
Suzy 'Homemaker' Rowling
Pictured above as the perfect Mormon girl, in love and happily married at 22 to her high school sweetheart and the previous football star. However, underneath lies a truth a shade darker then her goody two-shoes exterior. 13th in her high school class and on the track to Harvard and a respectable marriage she went to meet with one her professors and...low and behold...they fell in love! After a number of secretive meetings; the two decided to seperate but Suzy knew she could not face her secret love in a classroom setting and opted for the path of motherhood. Congratulations Suzy! However, there's one problem, will her baby resemble her brunette, chocolate-eyed husband or her toe-headed, sapphire eyed professor?
Sue Ellen
The beautiful and classy plantation wife(yah it's the 1950's...); sporting a wide-brimmed hat and a beautiful set of pearls, this Southern Belle practically breathes money. Literally. She only married one of the richest men in the South, and yes, it was very much on purpose. A keen eye for fancy things, she betrothed 'Sir Lancelot, with the hopes of fleeing her stifling mother and ended up falling in love. But wait! The scandal grows! Sue Ellen did find love on her plantation, but not with her somewhat older husband but Wesley, the stable boy! Let's just say her favorite scent is alfalfa...
"Aunt" Jemimah
This is where are story slows down a little bit...we've come to a character who is as kind-hearted as she looks! 18, unmarried, and the sole owner of a small farm bought with her deceased parents money, her main companion is the young girl she adopted when she was abandoned by an unidentified father and a deadbeat mother. You'll read more about her adoptive 'daughter' Mary Ann up next. Jemimah is a darling girl and grows everything from pumpkins to dragon-fruits on her profitable farm in rural North Carolina.
Mary Ann
Oh goodness. What to say about Mary Ann...words cannot be found to explain this unusual child. 16 and lacking anything close to manners. She slurps her tea, she stirs her tea with the honey spoon and puts it back in the pot, and makes numerous vulgar remarks when entirely unnecessary! The child is continuously giving poor Jemimah a heart attack and running off to Atlanta to opium dens and trying to get Jemimah to plant the 'whack-whack' plants, claiming they'll be ridiculously profitable! Abandoned at age 3 and raised in an orphange until rescued by Jemimah, everyone in the community and the church has urged her to seek help but she'll listen to know one, not even her darling aunt!
Grandma Virginia
Unfortunately, I'm lacking a picture of Grandma Virginia(because it's me and I didn't take one) but I can tell you her life story... I mean scandal as well. At the ripe old age of 28, Virginia is a very unloving grandma, and for that matter, mother as well. Pregnant at 15 by an unknown father, she was the Mary Ann of her day. As soon as she felt her daughter could be married (so basically after facing 12 agonizing years as a shunned single mother)her daughter was married. She was nice enough to marry him off to a relatively young, good-looking man with plenty of money that could take care of her daughter, and her granddaughter, much better than she ever could. Now she's happily single and ready to jump back into the scandalous scene...to be honest the only reason she attended this tea party was to find out the gossip and then become a part of it.
So there we are, a bunch of scandalous Southern ladies from Northern California! After telling our stories and laughing an insane amount, we took another stroll in the garden...mostly to take pictures!
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| Honestly, one of my favorite pictures of the day...their faces are perfection! |
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| Pshhhh...no this wasn't posed, most definitely Kodak! |
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| What pretty little potatoes you all are! |
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| She's basically a painting! |
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| This is my dragon fruit tree...isn't it be-u-tiful? |
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| Of course we had to pose are head wear, to make an adorable picture! |
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| These hats are either celebrating the graduation of our first tea party or their just jumping for joy! |
Maybe having a tea party is pretty ridiculous to most people but I haven't had this much fun in forever and I'm so happy I could share it with all of my beautiful, and scandalous, friends! I don't know about them, but I'm already planning our next tea party, I'm thinking winter-themed! Here's to Suzy, Sue Ellen, Jemimah, Mary Ann, and Grandma Virginia and all the other people who will be enlightened to celebrate their own tea party with their own version of 'The Pretty Little Liars of the 1950's".
Jewel.
* Note: All of the characters in this blog are completely fictional, from everything to their love affairs, their terrible characteristics, their drug habits, and their property choices.
